Black Winged Bird

When I think of Heaven, I tend to not think of the terrain. It doesn't impress me to imagine pearly gates, streets of gold, and what not. I always think of people. Heaven for me will be (and is now) about being with people that I love. All of them. At one time. THAT is Heaven. To be able to watch one favorite person's reaction and enjoyment when they get to experience another favorite. To see Johnny Mason meet Little Ken. For my brother and Tracy Miller to laugh. There are so many.

I've said before that eternity creeps me out. It's too big. But I hope there is one, and I hope that I am with my kids and my friends and all cozy with my Miller. I guess that's just heaven here.

I like when life is too hard, and people doubt me,
 and I win them over with my actions.
Evan Harvey

Happy Birthday Honey!!!!

Oh yes

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold



I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good.

Kid Cudi

Sweetness

It finally rained. This means that the world will be clean today, and my leg will stop hurting. Since I was 16, when the temperature was about to drop and it was fronted with the promise of rain, my skin would hurt very badly down one of my legs until I had the relief of the rain. I've read about it, gone to doctors, whatever. I don't know what it is. It hurt, and now it's gone. Today.

This weekend Evan turns 18. He comes in my room at night and tells me about his day. He does his own laundry, helps me without being asked, bathes old people during the day that do not want to be bathed, goes to baseball, goes across town to football, gets home, does homework, and says Mom tell me about your day.

My kids are my sweetness. I could write a chapter on each of them and explain how they save my life. Bradley told me the other day simply the funniest story I have ever heard. He has the quickest wit that I know of. Andrew and I get to work together. He is so compliant and so good. If you cannot get along with him, you are flawed. Honey is the honest seer. I cannot tell here what she observes, but she blows me away with her matter of fact depth. And my Bellie with her sweet spirit and her French tips. I see her trying to be normal but not buying into it. Not believing her own press. Just like her mother.

I'm off to work. My heart is literally divided up and going in five different directions. Not sure how to manage that. Love to everybody. Enjoy the rain.

Martin Luther King, Jr. is absotutely one of the greatest thinkers of our tiny speck of history. It is a complete pleasure and honor when you hear a man or woman speak with true wisdom. Everything he said publicly resonates with truth, love, and understanding. He was given the gift of sight. I am so thankful that he did not keep it to himself. Honestly, how could he? One of my favorite leaders of all time.

Ten thousand fools proclaim themselves into obscurity, while one wise man forgets himself into immortality.



Martin Luther King Jr.

Resolute

Isabelle wrote on her facebook page that her New Year's "Revolution" was to make straight A's and make one new friend. Her misspelling was actually so much better than just a mere resolution. As Robin and I observed over cocktails, it would indeed be such a revolution for everyone to make that one new friend.

I am not sure about so called unconditional love, especially in a relationship. To begin with, the term is a man made invention. It's a good one, based on agape love. God's love. But I know there is Philia and Eros. And Storge.

Quite honestly, I appreciate the distinctions that the Greeks gave me. There is the unconditional;  the passionate, sensual longing; the friendship; and the parent love. I'm going to go out on a limb and say you need the eros one in a relationship. Which means you give and get back. And there is nothing wrong or selfish about that. I have lived my life thinking that I have to always live and walk in the agape kind. It's great for the people around me, but I want some, too. How could I not?

2012- I want to understand love and all of It's expressions and meanings and connotations. I want to give love and be loved. How's that for revolution?

Geaux LSU! Reppin' the boot and all that. Love it! We will eat ettoufee and cheer one last time for LSU this season. Looking forward to next year.....

Elvis Birthday Eve

I really don't like cold weather. You have to wear so much more, and I don't like to wear so much more. My house is so cold. I have so much respect for the people of the world through history who accomplished great things in low temperatures. I would have us all huddled around the fire in the cave. I am so much less than those people.

I am looking forward to the LSU game on Monday. I am trying so hard to have spirited banter with the men that come in to JBBQ with Bama hats on, but I think they just can't imagine a woman actually saying that our secondary is going to make them one dimensional, and our d-line is going to shut down Richardson. They don't like my saying that we will pull away in the 4th and it will not be that close. Oh well. Maybe I should say our colors are pretty and the QB is cute.

I am on the look out for reasons to enjoy the moments, so if you have any ideas, I am open.

Coldplay - See You Soon (Cover) By My Andrew

I know it's 2012, but I haven't felt that fresh start thing yet that everybody feels. I know I am glad the holidays are over. I miss my kids. Especially Isabelle. Probably because she is the youngest and not able to just come see me like the others.

I have a lot of challenges this year. Some things I knew I would be dealing with, some I never saw coming. But here I am.

I will be a better Mother this year. I have felt so detached from my kids, but I am done with that. They are my family. My home.

I want to learn how to do my job better this year. I want JBBQ to prosper and continue to be the happy place that it is.

Last year is gone, and I am happy about that. It seemed like a slippery hill that I kept falling down with no end in sight. No occasional stump to break my descent, not even a briar patch to get tangled in momentarily. Just a long slide. I am done with that, too. I think I am at a plateau. God, please.

I want to get paid for at least one written collection of thoughts and words this year. That is about it. Love to all.