My Boys

...from the Gainesville Sun...

Emotional first win for Keystone Heights

By Cliff Olsen
NEWBERRY — To say that Keystone Heights' 31-14 District 4-2B victory at Newberry on Friday night was an emotional one, would be an understatement.
Quarterback Evan Harvey was 9-for-13 passing for 107 yards and three touchdowns to lead the Indians into the win column for the first time this fall after seven straight defeats. The win not only meant a lot because it was Keystone Heights' first, but also because it was dedicated to Indians' player Matthew Dickinson.

Matthew, the son of coach Chuck Dickinson, had a seizure prior to the Indians' game at The Villages on Oct. 15th. He was rushed to the hospital where a CAT Scan showed that he had a brain tumor. Chuck Dickinson said his son was transported toShands at UF that night and the next morning he said Matthew underwent about a three-hour surgery to remove the tumor. After the procedure, Chuck Dickinson said the doctors ruled the tumor to be benign.

Matthew Dickinson, who showed up at halftime of last week's home contest with Mount Dora but didn't travel to Newberry, is making good progress according to his father. Matthew is out of the hospital and is scheduled to return to school Monday. He does need to go back in six weeks to have another CAT Scan and Chuck Dickinson said there is a possibility his son, who plays tight end, could return to the football field for the spring and next season.

"We all got No.18 stickers to put on the back of our helmets for him, this was the second week we did that," Harvey said. "He has been in our prayers, but this win is dedicated to him.
"This victory was really awesome, 0-7 was really tough to come out of, we knew we had it in us," the junior said. "We were probably the best 0-7 team you've ever seen."

Things started rough for KH (1-7, 1-3) as Reggie Thomas fumbled to open the game, which led to Rakeem Hoyt's two-yard scoring run to give Newberry a 7-0 edge. Harvey responded with 1:24 left in the first quarter as he hit Chase Julius with a seven-yard slant pass for the game-tying score. Andrew Vargas put the Panthers (2-6, 1-3) back on top, 14-7 with a two-yard quarterback sneak, but the Indians rolled with 24 unanswered points to claim the win.

Harvey connected with Ryan Latner on a pair of nice touchdowns as the Indians led 21-14 at halftime. Thomas, who ended with 151 yards on 21 carries, had a three-yard scoring run in the third quarter before Logan Stanley added a 29-yard field goal in the fourth period for the final margin.

"The kids have played hard," Chuck Dickinson said. "There has been a lot of emotion this year with the things that happened two weeks ago."

KH finished with 206 rushing yards, while Newberry had 206 rushing yards, led by Chris Gillyard's 94 yards on 15 attempts.

"I am glad for Chuck and for their team, with what they have had to go through, the hard times with his son," Newberry coach Tommy Keeler said. "I was in contact with Chuck all through that and I tried to give as much support as I could to him. I am glad for him but sad for us."

"This victory was really awesome, 0-7 was really tough to come out of, we knew we had it in us," the junior said. "We were probably the best 0-7 team you've ever seen."


Things started rough for KH (1-7, 1-3) as Reggie Thomas fumbled to open the game, which led to Rakeem Hoyt's two-yard scoring run to give Newberry a 7-0 edge. Harvey responded with 1:24 left in the first quarter as he hit Chase Julius with a seven-yard slant pass for the game-tying score. Andrew Vargas put the Panthers (2-6, 1-3) back on top, 14-7 with a two-yard quarterback sneak, but the Indians rolled with 24 unanswered points to claim the win.

Harvey connected with Ryan Latner on a pair of nice touchdowns as the Indians led 21-14 at halftime. Thomas, who ended with 151 yards on 21 carries, had a three-yard scoring run in the third quarter before Logan Stanley added a 29-yard field goal in the fourth period for the final margin.

"The kids have played hard," Chuck Dickinson said. "There has been a lot of emotion this year with the things that happened two weeks ago."

KH finished with 206 rushing yards, while Newberry had 206 rushing yards, led by Chris Gillyard's 94 yards on 15 attempts.

"I am glad for Chuck and for their team, with what they have had to go through, the hard times with his son," Newberry coach Tommy Keeler said. "I was in contact with Chuck all through that and I tried to give as much support as I could to him. I am glad for him but sad for us."

Not good

I hate when I'm reminded that I'm not all that hot. Oh well. I need to remember that nobody takes care of me but me. I think I need to just focus on that and have a nice day.

Today should be busy. I hope to have pictures on here tomorrow. Have a nice day.

Hot Fudge Jeep

Tracy's first love. But, if you look closely, my purse is on the passenger's seat. Again, so sorry to all you jealous women.

:)

Howling at the moon a little...

There are always two ways to look at things.

I am 45. I serve food to people and clean up after them, run a cash register, and today I will work the drive thru. I am very lucky. I work for the best boss I have ever had. I am appreciated, and I get to be with the most incredible women all day. Yeah, I smell like bbq when I leave, but I also laugh, smile, and am cared for the whole time I'm there. Win.

One of the wonderful ladies that I work with recently bought my old car, the Cutlass. I think it is perfect and poetic that it has been passed from one single mom to another. There was something very satisfying when she drove off knowing that no man was part of that transaction. For that moment, we didn't need one.

 I'm not a man hater. Just the opposite. My God, I have been literally rescued by a few. In every way. It's pretty clear how much I adore my Miller. But if he had not succumbed to my stalking, I would not need another man to make me complete. I'd like to think he's here for my pleasure. Just my hot toy. He be fine.....

 But anyway.....My friend has the car and is autonomous. Today. I think that is awesome. One of the biggest compliments I have ever gotten was from my lawyer, the Great Oz I like to call him. We were wrapping up the last transaction of my divorce case. He looked at me and said, "You're a survivor. You're going to be fine." I was like, Whatha hell? Survivor? I cry, borrow, cry, and if my body were street worthy, I would have probably used that a time or two. And I cry. I am so frickin needy! And then he grinned his Cheshire grin and said, "I know. You know how to make it happen for your kids." Wow. I will still keep him on speed dial along with my urologist, gynocologist, and my tow truck driver (all men), but that was nice. I know a lot of women like that. Survivors, rainmakers, whatever we are. Kid feeders!  Power to us, screw the world, kiss my ass, and all that! Have a great day!!

I think tears are like lactating. Supply and demand. You'll never run out as long as you need them. And the nursing moms said, "Word."

I am being pulled in so many directions these days. It's mostly emotional. I know that in about 2 or 3 months, all will be settled in one way or another. It's just the moment before that seems like I can't stretch any further without breaking. I know I won't. So I cry a little here and there. Like a pressure cooker releasing steam. Just a little.

I would hate to imagine life without my Tracy Miller. He is THE best man I have ever known, loved, been loved by, etc. I look forward to any moment with him.

Ok. I am learning how to scan. Yeah, I know. I'll tackle the Atari next. Anyway, I'm about to have some fun. This is my favorite picture of Evan. I can't wait to scan Honey's drawings. Oh man. I need help with centering.

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: You don''t give up.

So true. I am trying.

To do?

When thinking about what to do in life, I don't like the term "bucket list." It sounds like I'm headed to the barn to feed the animals with my list of grain and corn and sloshing through manure and mud. My shoes are getting messed up, and I should have worn a jacket. And the cows are staring at me. But I do like to think about what I would like to do or live or experience in the next 40 years or so.

I want to go to sleep every night with Tracy. Door shut. The world outside. Just big strong arms and the sound of his breathing. I will never take one of those moments for granted.

I want to go back to NYC. I like that place. A lot.

I want to take some semi naked pictures of myself. Yeah, that's right. I said it. (And many people gasp! and say she really has lost her mind. Which makes it fun,) Anyway, just something to remind myself later that I was pretty or sexual or uninhibited. It may just be too late. I'm not talking about Polaroids. Dear God. I mean real photographs. And, by the way, I like the word naked better than nude. Naked sounds more authentic. Nothing to hide. Nude sounds like there are cosmetics and lighting creating an illusion. Just me. Nude sounds like a Revlon eye concealer. Naked is "here it is".

I want to stop being haunted by my memories and imagination. This probably requires hypnosis or an exorcism.

I want to write a book. For my kids to know me. If they want to. But I have to get over the fear of offending the people I would write about. I think I will get over that one. I am finding that people are not always worth all the consideration I attribute to them. The truth is just the plain ole truth, and I can tell it if I choose to. I am finding that people who are hell bent to judge or misunderstand me will do so no matter what. Their choice and not my problemo.

I want to go to sleep one night with the knowledge that my kids are living life on their own terms, sustaining themselves, and being loved.

I want to just live. Eat, drink, laugh. dance sometimes, love and be loved. Watch sunsets, look for 4 leaf clovers, read good books, look at art, take naps, and see God in all of it.

Peanuts and drinking wine with God

Honey, as some know, is trying her hand at raising bunnies. A rabbitry of small and monumental proportions. When Mama Bunny gestated and took on the high calling (motherhood), she had 4 sweet little ones to show for it. But one was doomed from the get go. It was a Peanut. A Peanut is a bunny that will never grow. It's little head is a wee bit too big, giving the little guy the shape and form of the name. You can try to nurture a Peanut, but in the end it will die. No chance.

My marriage was a Peanut. I died many times trying to keep that bunny alive, but no can do. I remember when I filed for divorce and saw the words "irretrievably broken". Wow. That's one way to say it. I knew this already. Had known it for many years. But what I was not prepared for and will never be "over" is irretrievably breaking the hearts of my kids. To say that it kills me is a great understatement. More like putting my beating heart through a meat grinder and walking around like that. All the time. I can see in each person (my children) the effects of my failed attempts. They are all different, but each grapples and struggles and manifests in different ways. I can only watch, pray, and cry way too much. They each literally saved my life by just being conceived. They are proof that God loves me. The only evidence I will ever need. If God walked in right now and suggested that we sit down, have a glass of wine, and chat, it would not solidify his existence any greater to me. I see him all the time. I do his laundry, if you will...I have all I need. But if I lose it all tomorrow, it's enough that I once had it. I can't ask for more than that. That is how my faith goes.

Some may think I'm a little dramatic. That's fair. I have never met a sadness that I did not embrace and try to figure out. Not sure why. I need to feel your pain for some friggin' reason. But I can truthfully say that unless you have been down this road, you just do not know. I deliberately created a home for my children. I thought of everything (too much). They are left with a hole. It sickens me. It was inevitable.

The good news is, they will get through it. Pain and hardship really do build good things in a person. I am not the source of life for them. God is. They will figure all this out and be better for it. If love does, in fact, cover the multitude of wrong, then it's only a matter of time. I am not the first mother to watch a child hurt. Mary did it well. I hope I can learn the lessons I am suppose to learn so I can close this chapter. Peace to all who are walking this out. You know who you are.

Happy Birthday, Andrew. : )

Not much

Some days I just have nothing to say. Well, nothing uplifting or interesting. So, I'll let somebody else do it.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
Mark Twain

Be polite to all, but intimate with few.
Thomas Jefferson

"Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it."
— David Sedaris

Nothing but fun!!!

Known

You never know what it is to be someone else. Never. You can put their shoes on, get in their skin, stand on their porches. But you can't know completely. Only God, I believe, knows. So please don't tell me what I should be doing, what I think, where I've been, how I feel. Like you know. If someone wants to know me, please close your mouth and listen. It's that easy. Or just watch me. Or don't.

I don't think God is shocked by our questions. I don't believe he is offended when we can't see him. The fact is, we can't see him. It's just the truth. I think he can work with that. He is bigger than any idea or doctrine or translation or act. I am in awe of that. I will never get tired of looking up and just being known. And me-- not knowing much of anything. How could I be any other way? He knows where I am. And who I am.

That is peace and joy to me.

Trying To Get To You

Carole inspired me.

La la la...I can't hear you.

This weekend was too short. It is Sunday night, and I am looking ahead to next Thursday already.

I am wondering so many things. How am I going to do all the things I want to do, how will I afford it, how far do you bend for people, why bend at all? I don't understand why I am here sometimes, but I don't want to wake up when I'm 85 and realize I had it wrong. I want to live and love the day I am in. Tracy is the best balance I have ever had. He saves me everyday and doesn't realize it. Or maybe he does.

The older and wiser I get, the more I just don't want to entertain toxic people. I know everyone would say, "Of course not!" But these people are everywhere. Stresses me out. I like the back deck at sunset more and more with a glass of wine, my feet propped up, and you know who. I like loving and being loved. My kids are fine with this. Some think I am in "la la" land. I absolutely wish I was in" la la" land. All the time. Who doesn't? My "la la" is music, food and sleep! And sex. (Sorry to all who would not have that). I am rambling now. For Hoover. Have a beautiful Monday. I will.