Tomorrow is my friend Carole's blog birthday or anniversary or whatever is appropriate. I love Carole, and I love her thoughts. She asked me to say something about her blog, The Wardrobe and the White Tree, on this momentous eve. So here is what I said. Love you, Carole Sue. I hope this doesn't spoil it.

I am sitting here trying to remember the first time I read your blog. Truth is, I can't. It's either one of the many signs of dementia I am noticing, or your blog is so ingrained in my day to day life that it just has no beginning. I will say that you are the inspiration for my own blog. You are the one that encouraged me to write my thoughts, you set the whole thing up, and you are the one I think of when I neglect it. So thank you. I love blogging. I know it is a little bit of exhibitionism mixed with subtle cries for help. But it's also our small history. Our chronicle of this journey that is sad and happy and silly. Our kids can read it and know our hearts if they feel like it. Stalkers can feed their obsessions, and people may sometimes get inspired to carry on one more friggin day. My advice to myself and you is not to censor your heart. There is not some huge responsibility to represent institutions by not discussing why you drank too much wine last night and danced in the kitchen with your husband. OK, that was me, but don't take it too seriously. Life is fun, and I believe God likes us. Carry on, Sue. I love you. Karen

Counting down til the end of summer. Lots of beginnings and ends and unknowns. Not wanting to sound sad. I'm trying not to be one of those "I'm hurting" blogs. People are still the same, good and bad. I'm off to work. My life is wonderful, my husband was made for me, and I have great kids/adults. Have a great day.

Some fun with a few of my JBBQ Beauties.




I work with young beautiful women. It makes it so hard not to want plastic surgery. These are just a few of the ladies of Johnny's, and they are as smart, strong, and funny as they are gorgeous. Love them.

Some fun with my JBBQ girls.



And I thought Evan was a sad, lonely teen.

Morgan, my Chelsea, Kilee, Nikki, me, Kelly, and Pappy

My Veritas

Tracy and I watched a movie tonight. One of the characters had the word "veritas" tattooed on his hand. I loved it. I have always had a crush on that word (like pontificate), but don't get to use it often. It means Truth. There was a Roman goddess named Veritas, and little does my super hot Canadian know, but there is a statue of the same Veritas in front of the Canadian Supreme Court. Yep. That's right.

This is not a post about what is truth. I have been pretty thorough about my confusion and ever seeking of that very thing. But I was thinking about what I know to be true. My veritas, if you will please. I believe in God. But how do you make a case or give an account for your belief without the Bible? I mean, most people who don't believe that God exists usually don't give too much credit to the Bible. If they are well read, they know of the historical value. But I hate to say, most people are not well read. At least not in historical cultures and whatnot. So, back to my case for God.

I would have to say the design of nature. And by nature, I mean me and you and trees. Just watching Nova's Miracle of Life is a compelling statement of a non random design. Everything is so perfect, so thought through, so harmonious. I carried 5 people inside of me while they formed. Every detail was taken care of. Even the moment of "imprinting" when for about 20 minutes a newborn's vision is clear for about 12 inches. The distance from a mother's breast to the mother's face. So while a baby is suckling for the first time, he sees clearly the face that will nurture and adore and scratch the night nurse's eyes out for him. Honestly, don't get me going on breastfeeding and the existance of God. I need no other proof.

 I do not see nature, when left to itself, becoming more sophisticated. It becomes ruins. It doesn't make sense to me that such wondrous complication came from nothing. And I am completely comfortable to think that God has designed man and nature to adapt over the ages. It's not a contradiction to me. It actually supports my idea that God is living and changing things as we go along through history.

So that is me. I have faith in a God I cannot see. But like the wind that I can't see, I see His effects. There is so much more, but I will try to stay simple. To live in and up to this veritas.

Something good.

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence”

Aristotle
I know this. It's why we were made. But....
I honestly think money does buy happiness. It has to. I just keep forgetting to buy lotto tickets. If it doesn't buy happiness, at least it takes the pressure off so you can try to find happiness the other ways. I personally think I could be in a state of joy by getting my hair professionally cut and colored once a month, pedicures, a merry maid, and maybe a house on a mountain. Near a cool city. I wouldn't mind some plastic surgery in a few years, a pretty bed with a head board and high thread count sheets, a fast car with a stick shift, and never having to just look away when my kids need something. Ouch. Tracy could realize his dream of becoming a chef, which works into my happy plan. See? I could drink Crown and not Canadian Club, I would buy some good perfume, and we would all go to the dentist. It would be a fine time. Brought to us by money. I am willing to give a shot.

Today my kids are at camp. I'm not a fan of church camp, as I say every year, but they love it. So go camp!

I am living in a sauna. My hair is in it's full rebellion, and I can do nothing. Oh well.

I don't have much to say. Just working and thinking and dreading and hoping. Please come football season. I can't wait to see Evan throw to Chase every Friday night. It will be the last time. And then I can see my LSU on Saturdays. It's a great chance to escape. I need it.

I cannot describe me these days. Which means I'm too simple, too complicated, or just plain ole losing my mind. Dear Lord....

This is the good.....My job and the people I stress around with each day while serving BBQ to normal folks that don't care about health food that day....Bradley's mind...Andrew and Chelsea and the hope of love forever....Evan and his heart for me....Honey's saying I love you, too....Isabelle and her own complexities....the way the bluish gray sky looks through the trees at sunset.....the fact that I feel stronger, more able to handle the things I am dreading.....my ability when cornered to finally defend myself....good music and wine...and my Miller.

Our Weekend



A little blurry, but this is the beautiful deck Tracy built for us. The plant is clear....



The view from our new deck.

I have found that it is a good thing to enjoy being with the one you are married to. I love my Tracy Miller. He is my best friend, my drinking buddy, my very sexy date, and everything else.