Just a little forethought

I wrote the following a while back while pondering a book that is swirling around in my head. It's a preface, I think. Anyway, I thought I'd share instead of letting it sit in my documents wasting away....

I was sitting next to a lovely couple at a bar recently. I had gone away for the day with a friend and was having a drink and watching football. Being from Louisiana, I am never faced with a stranger. So as we "caught up", I found out that the couple had been married for 16 years and that this was indeed their anniversary. How nice! They had 2 young children at home, and then came the question. "Do you have children?" I readied for the response. I have 5. Yes, 5. No, they are all biological. Yes, I'm 48. Oh, thank you, but I assure you, my mind is gone. Ha. Ha. It's my little claim to fame. They are at this time 24, 22, 20, 18, and 15. 

 As we continued, the man I was with called for the check. It was time to move to our next location. But before I went, my new friend wanted to ask a question about parenting...Is this going to be hard? The coming years? It's going to be crazy, right? And, I thought, yes. She wanted my one big advice. The big thing. So I told her...Learn to say you are sorry.

She looked at me in a confused way. Huh? Sorry? I got the feeling this was not the parenting advice she was expecting. And there were so many things I could say. But we were leaving, so I had to get to the heart of it. The one game changer. And this is it. We get these little people entrusted to us. Not when we are wise, but so much sooner. When we are still mostly screwed up. And so, we are going to make a lot of mistakes. More than I can count. But with all that, if I can say I am sorry, if I can BE sorry, I can show my children what it's like to be human. To be God's child learning as I go. And our children can learn to forgive. To let someone else be human. And then, when we humble ourselves, we can allow them to be human, too. Not little replicas of us. But real people with real thoughts and real hearts.

My daughter recently found out she is pregnant. There are great books on pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, parenting, and on and on and on. This book will have some of that. But also some of the "I'm sorry" moments. The "do not try this at home" stuff. Ultimately, it will be about finding and following your Mother Heart. Her Mother Heart. The one that is growing with her unborn baby. It will be about the voices that tell you one thing, and the undeniable pull in your heart to do another. It's how I chose to do it. And it was good. So this book is for my children becoming parents... so they can understand not what to think, but how to find their own thoughts. Not the right way or the wrong way, but their way. And it's always different with each child.

 It's about finding your rhythm. Your inner mama bear. And KNOWING. It's about knowing. And doing.