Walkin' Along, Singin' a Song...

I am learning how to go through each day in blind faith that God will take care of me. Blind, I tell you. Can't see your own hand in front or your face dark. I'm pretty calm with the occasional breakdown in tears, but overall, steady. My demeanor kind of concerns me, because I think that surely the stress is somewhere--perhaps in a tumor or something. I don't know. So here I am, just walking through the day, dangling on a thread. Sometimes the wind catches me, and I blow slightly off the ground, but I just keep moving my feet. I eventually land and hit the ground walking.

God helps me through friends. Sometimes I don't even know them. Sometimes I do. I have gone through my Christian life with the solid truth that Faith is not a feeling. (Thank you, John Green!!! I am on the Rock.) It's the substance of things hoped for and evidence of the unseen. So I base my life on not feeling a thing. I don't need chills and thrills. And yet, these days, I'm seeing things. Amazing. I see God pull me out almost everyday. It seems luxurious to me. To be able to actually know that certain things are miracles on my behalf. Welcome to the bottom, Karen! Where there is no other explanation but God! This is what it looks like for Him to save me. I literally begged Him to rescue me, and so, I am. Being rescued. It is terrifying and peaceful at the same time. I don't want to necessarily stay down here at the bottom of the well. It's dark and damp. But everyday, a bucket is lowered and it doesn't have lotion in it like on Silence of the Lambs. ( I'm always on the look out for serial killers.) It usually has money and kindness. I look up and all I can see is the patch of sky afforded by the opening of the well. That's the view. Limited, but enough. I guess. God thinks it's enough.

I feel like a reporter. "Well that wraps things up from the pit. Back to you, Dan."

So God, help me learn what I need to learn, so I don't have to be taught this again. I don't want a refresher course later, although, I could see me needing one. Corrie Ten Boom's sister said that "There is no pit so deep that God is not deeper still." Underneath my pit is just His hand. I am in His palm. He won't lose me or my kids. Or you.