A little ramble.

I have never been afraid of being "alone". I have said this to friends, and some have smiled, shook their head, and said, "just wait." Well, I'm here. I'm not going to say that loneliness is great. It isn't. But after living the life that I have lived for so long, it could be worse.

***warning *** disclaimer*** I know that I am a little 'messed up", ok? So the things that I say may not reflect the healthy woman at this stage in life. So please know that what is good for me, I do not recommend for you. Maybe. Whatever. Disclaimer over.

I sleep whenever I feel like it. I take naps without guilt. I do almost everything with no guilt. I do the dishes like I always did, but it doesn't feel so bad. No one is telling me that it's woman's work. Cleaning toilets was woman's work, too. My children help me. It's nice. I set the tone in my home. I can play music. Any music. I can laugh. Freely. I do not live in fear of explaining myself or deafening silence or whatever. I am a person in my home. I have a personality. No one gets to tell me what I am "really thinking". I just think. They are my thoughts. Mine. I am not dishonored as a valid human. People apologize to me, because that is normal. I cook what I want. I am not "taught lessons". I blog! Some know what I am talking about. Some think I am stating the obvious. And that is just it. It is obvious to be a real person.

I try very hard to treat my children with the same respect. To honor their feelings, thoughts, and where they are in life. I remember. Their questions don't scare me. They honestly do not need to look like me, talk like me, think like me. They tend to, but that is because they see things that make sense.

So my house is a free place. Not Hippy Free, but safe. Safe to get mad, safe to laugh, to sleep, eat. No one is going to get up in your face here. I like it.