Easter

I want too many things that I cannot have. It's a not that great of a place to be. Always wanting.

I remember when I was 6 or 7, Mama and Daddy sat on the porch of our hundred year old house on Rounsaville, and told me that they were, in fact, the Easter Bunny. It made sense. It was hard to imagine such a big bunny doing all that in one night. Santa, maybe, but an omnipotent rabbit was a stretch. I don't think I cried or anything. I got to make every one's baskets that night, which was fun. Mine was always the yellow grass. Yellow is my favorite color. It's the happiest color in the world.

It didn't matter really about who actually gave us the candy. It was the candy! We had chocolate for what seemed like weeks. Those little foil eggs, goldbricks, Reese's, and the big bunny with the candy eye. We always had the dyed eggs, but they got really nasty after a while.

I never told my kids that there was a bunny or Santa. We played the game, but I am not one to lie. I know it's no big deal, but I just didn't want to do it. I have this thing about truth. No judgement. It's just me. I can't lie. I won't.

I know that Easter is about the resurrection of Jesus. The complete meaning of Christianity. So, tomorrow, I'll focus on that. I'll focus on the idea that others are more important than I am. The perfect idea that God doesn't judge me on my merits or complete lack of them. It's all about mercy and love, and believing in something that I cannot see or feel. I can do that.

I'll try not to feel so sorry for myself. It's getting on my nerves. I need some chocolate. Happy Easter.