Now that I am divorced (!), I feel a little more freedom to talk about my personal life. (As Tracy braces himself.) The song (In the Still of the Night) is for my Mom. Here's to love, Mama.
I remember the first time I was in love. I was 6. Vance, my older brother, started playing baseball. His coach was Lloyd Brown and the team was full of long haired 70's kids. The shortstop was Mickey Gore. He had a red glove. I managed to be obsessed with Mickey until 8th grade. I still get to talk to him. He is friends with my family and married to my high school friend Roxanne (I think they are married). There was a short time in '76 that he took my leather name bracelet, but other than that, my love remained unrequited and pure. Still does.
There were others, of course. A couple of them broke my heart (damn you, Scotty Caballero), and I'm pretty sure I maybe put a few people out as well. So it goes.
I have learned many things about myself along the way to get to the now. I am a one- man kinda girl. No fooling around.
I like to give all of my heart to someone. This can hurt, but I see no other way.
I will not compete with women. For a man. Ever.
I am worth the trouble.
I can give a lot. I mean, a lot. But it can run dry. I found that out at a point in my marriage. I also found out, however, that I have a huge capacity to make things work, and Tracy will benefit from this. I promise.
Speaking of Tracy, I am happy to say and think and feel that everything so far has brought me to him. Yeah, I really think that. He is funny, good, and looks just a little better than Adonis. Too bad for all the other women. If I could take every quality I have ever loved about people and fashion my perfect man, he still wouldn't be as good as Tracy. I prayed (begged) to be rescued from my situation for many years. Removing me from that was enough for a lifetime, I can assure you. But then, as if God wanted to love on me some more, He gave me Tracy. That's how I see it. It's like being saved from a fire and then winning the lottery. Excessive blessing. I like it.
I love the way you express your thought..its simple and full of picture that running in the reader's mind. Good job! hope to learn a bit from here and improve my own writing skills. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you've been through a lot, but not enough to keep you from getting to the other side.
ReplyDeleteExcessive blessings..I like them too. Enjoy them everyday!
On our talent show in Slovenia there was a musician who said that he's once been hired to play on a divorce party. :)
ReplyDeleteSo I guess it can be something positive. My parents are divorced too and I'm sure that was the best thing to do for them at that moment ...