My whole life I have kept journals or writings or whatever. I have always censored it all because I was afraid I would get in trouble or because I would hurt some one's feelings. The paper trail. Rule #1- don't leave one.

I have lots of thoughts and experiences that I hide or suppress for those reasons. No murders or anything. Just some mistreatments or silly things. Going out with friends and laughing. Walking through New Orleans with friends, going to the gym, parties, mean people, etc. I just don't mention it. That's too bad. I know it's what life, my life, is made of. Natural childbirth, nipple confusion (for the hardcore nursers), the crush I had on Rob Thomas back in 98, the Cross Walk days, the dirtiest thing I've ever done, book club at Melanie's, men, what it's like to have your heart ripped out often, sex, women I am jealous of for one reason or another (usually boobs or the way they just don't care), my family.....on and on. I know that memoir is about mattering. Being heard and valid to somebody but mainly yourself. I am not sure if it's possible. But I do think I need to write. It's there.

Going to work with all this going on in this head. Have a nice day.