It's October which is one of my favorite months of the year. It will whisk by while I finish school, work, and arrange my house.
There are some things I will never speak of in a public forum like this. I am torn because as a "writer", I want to maintain integrity and not censor myself. This has become my little history. My chronicle of life since 2006. So I will just look back and remember this time of blog silence. I will know what was happening inside of me. I'll remember.
Today is the day I am putting myself away for as long as the hair dye holds up. I want to look in the mirror and not see this devastated person. She's always walking around with her broken heart in her hands, trying to put it back together while it slips out through her fingers like liver. It's too desperate. She needs to go to sleep. So, in the spirit of emotional breakdowns everywhere, I will cut my hair today, dye it dark, and throw some purple in it. I will wear a lot of eyeliner and some lipstick. It won't change the inside, but at least it will divert my attention. And that's the best I can do.
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