1. I love and appreciate my kids. They are appreciative of what I can give them. and that ain't much. I get sad when I see kids getting normal things that my kids would think is special. I just can't. All I can do is little things. They are good, and I hope the karma comes back 100 times for them.
2. I am learning about who I am. I have no idea. I have had to adjust in so many ways. I wonder what I will be when I am done? Hopefully not silent and vacant. I would prefer to be laughing...I am not nearly as devastated about things as I used to be. That's good. I'm not good AT ALL at compartmentalizing my heart and mind. To feel or not to feel...it's all or nothing. Oh well.
3. I like to talk to people. It makes me happy.
4. I miss talking to people.
5. It makes my day for someone to be interested in me. You know who you are. There are some who go out of their way to type a little comment to me every now and then. Or ask me about my day or life. It saves me. Yes, I am that dramatic. Thank you. I lived like an invisible person for a long time. Not by choice. So the smallest acknowledgement is a day maker. I know all of this sounds egocentric, but in the words of Ace Ventura looking at the monk orgy, denial can be an ugly thing.
6. I still think I'm worth it. Not as much as I used to, but kind of. Maybe.
7. I think that God is still taking care of me. Or at least giving consent to the universe to do with me what it will. I trust that. As long as the dark forces have to ask permission to mess with me, I am still in good hands. Me and Job. And Peter.
8. I have some hope.
9. The trees are pretty right now.
10. That's it.
8. I have some hope.
9. The trees are pretty right now.
10. That's it.
I think that we all will never feel like we give our kids enough or adequetly show them how much we love them.Everyday I learn soething else about myself, sometimes good...sometimes not so much. I miss talking too, life is crazy. We love to feel love and KNOW for sure, that we are worth it. We are in God's hands---without a single doubt, or we would not have made it this far. His beauty is all around us...I know that with the sunsets that is stare at and moonlight that shines through the trees.
ReplyDeleteJenny Jenn jenn. Thank you. You noticed!
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