I want so many things. Mainly for my kids. But I have some things, too. I have sheets with a high thread count, wine almost every night, good lotion, and fluffy socks. I have, as Andrew pointed out, a hunk of manliness that I get to snuggle up to. Seriously, if I somehow stopped loving him (impossible), I would use him. He is hotness to me.

It is wierd coming from where I have been (Missi, Daurie?) and trying to recatorgorize priorities, and ideas about what matters. Everything has changed for me. I look at pictures and read journals and I do not know that Karen. I don't like her all that much. She did the best she could, but I have no desire to see her anymore. Spare me the advice, but I throw things away that remind me. Sorry. I just don't need to go back to some things. My kids. That's it.

So I'll walk out today. The me that is trying to be. It's kind of cool. And scary as hell.